


am i incapable of love?

by killu0tine



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cheating, F/F, Fluff, Kiyoko is lesbian, Kiyoko is married to Ryuu, M/M, Multi, Post-Timeskip, Probably some angst, Yachi is bisexual, kenhina is here too but it's not the main focus of the fic, mention of yamaguchi/tsukishima, the cheating gets worked out and kiyoko and tanaka are friends again
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:21:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23137603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killu0tine/pseuds/killu0tine
Summary: kiyoko feels dissatisfied from her relationship with tanaka and wants more, so she starts seeing yachi who she hasn't seen since high school and tries to work out her feelings.spoiler alert kiyoko is a huge flaming lesbian
Relationships: Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey!! this is gonna be a longer one that I'll be updating more. the title is a lyric from the song "incapable" by Róisín Murphy ^_^
> 
> Kiyoko is 24 and Yachi is 21.
> 
> For the most part, I'll be referring to them by their first names without honorifics.

She couldn't believe what she was doing.

Kiyoko tied her hair neatly, as she put on a thin layer of clear lip gloss.

 _I should tell Ryuu how I really feel._ she sighed to herself.

_He'll always be a dear friend of mine, but I can't bring myself to love him in the way he does me._

Flipping open her phone one last time, she promised to herself, she looked longingly at the dating app she had open.

Yachi Hitoka. A young woman she hadn't talked to in an eternity. When she graduated, Kiyoko knew better than to creep on high school students, and still did now. But Yachi had certainly matured in the short time she'd known her, and Kiyoko figured she was much different from the shrinking violet she once was.

So she shot her shot, and Hitoka was receptive.

Kiyoko put down her phone.

~

Her husband, Tanaka Ryuunosuke, was busy at work and wouldn't be back until late. Felt weird saying that. Almost like she skipped her 20s altogether and became an uptight housewife out of college.

Even though it wasn't– Ryuu was nothing short of amazing to her, and had grown past his immature teenage impulses. 

However, something nagged at her from deep inside. Was that a gut feeling?

_he really is great, but there's something missing._

Kiyoko had become progressively more aware of that "something", which was attraction. No matter how strong her bond with Tanaka was, it didn't make up for the fact that she never truly was into him that way.

Did this mean she considered him to be a settle? And if she told him, would he ever forgive her? So many men were so steadfast in their beliefs that they could just flip a switch and start hating you, no matter how close you were before.


	2. Chapter 2

She met Hitoka at a quiet café, and brought her to a booth by the window. Kiyoko ordered a black coffee, and Hitoka matcha tea full of milk and sugar.

"Hello! I'm Shimizu- Tanaka Kiyoko, from the dating site. Yachi Hitoka?" she stuttered.

"Indeed. Call me Hitoka." she smiled politely, though with a hint of question as to why Kiyoko's name changed within a second.

" _Hitoka._ You look gorgeous." Kiyoko purred.

She really did. Her hair was down and deliberately tousled. Blush graced her skin, with traces of eyeliner highlighting her eyes. Kiyoko felt like she had underdressed.

Hitoka blushed for real, and it showed through her makeup. She looked down, whispering "Thanks. I'd hate to make a bad first impression."

Kiyoko laughed softly. "Don't be so worried! This isn't a job interview." she reassured.

They met up at around four p.m., and talked until closing time at ten.

Oh, did they _talk_. They talked about what they liked (Hitoka liked linguistics, interior design, the colour pink, peaches, green tea, cats, and red lipstick. Kiyoko liked history, strawberries, volleyball, dogs, watercolour painting, and "making cute girls blush". Hitoka liked that one). They talked about their mutual friends, politics, music, and work. 

Kiyoko hadn't felt so alive in a long time. She held back in high school, and getting married to Ryuu at 20 didn't help matters. It seemed like her youth dissipated at fourteen. 

She kept quiet about it, but when the store closed she decided to tell her. 

"Hitoka. I have to tell you that I'm married. That's why I'm technically Tanaka Kiyoko now. Thing is– I wouldn't know how the hell I tell my husband that. That I'm... gay. I know how silly it sounds, but he's had a crush on me since the first year of high school. Nine years seems like a long time for a crush, right? Especially for a teenager. And we've been together for four of those years. He'd be crushed, no pun intended, if I ever let it be known that I wasn't as into him as he was into me." 

Kiyoko collected her shaking breath and Hitoka massaged between her shoulder blades to help her relax.

"Oh no, I get it. I really get it, Kiyoko. I dated Yamaguchi my senior year, and something similar happened. He realised about six months in that he was really in love with Tsukishima. Of all goddamn people... But they worked it out and last I heard they had a room together. My point is, it's best to be honest. Even if Ryuu gets upset, which I'm sure he will– I didn't leave my house for a week after Yamaguchi told me that– you'll both be so much happier in the long run. Tanaka can get over his crush he hung on to for too long, and you can get a taste of freedom." said Hitoka.

So many names Kiyoko hadn't heard in years, Jesus. Tsukishima Kei and Yamaguchi Tadashi. Even when she was manager, she remembered thinking they had a thing or were gonna have a thing a couple times. The way Yamaguchi would whine "Tsukki" was nothing short of Shakespearean, if Shakespeare was a horny gay theatre kid going through an intense emo phase. 

"Wow..." Kiyoko was at a loss for words.


	3. Chapter 3

After taking advantage of a few more late nights and a few "girls' night outs", Kiyoko wistfully confessed to Hitoka that she told Ryuu about her secret affair the night before at a diner the next morning over breakfast.

"How did he..." Hitoka's voice drifted off.

"I... I'm not gonna lie and say he wasn't upset, but I think he got the gist. Still, I don't think he wants to see my face for a while." Kiyoko buried her head in her hands.

She continued, "I've let expectations guide my life for too long. You know, I had the feeling I was a lesbian, or even asexual, for a long time. Anything relating to love, I always pushed under the radar. I now know that that was intentional. I tried giving guys a chance. For my family, my friends, even myself. Shouldn't I have been grateful for all the attention?".

Hitoka pointed out, "To be fair, even if I was straight I'd be a little intimidated. Teenage boys are... A little overbearing, right?" Kiyoko nodded.

"Yeah, but that isn't it, Hitoka. I never thought I'd have been able to love someone romantically, ever. Even though I love Ryuu– I really do. He's one of my best friends, and I hope that'll never change. But this, no doubt, will be something of a rift in our relationship for a while. And I mean, there isn't anything wrong with not desiring romantic relationships, but I still felt that hollowness. A yearning, if you will."

Hitoka wrapped an arm around her waist. "I completely understand you, Kiyoko. Honestly, I always wondered how you really felt about how often men hit on you. I feel bad that you were put in a position that you had to put up with it so much."

Kiyoko sighed. "Well," she began, "I didn't hate it. Being wanted is a nice feeling. But it becomes complicated when you realise you don't want any of them back."

"I don't know what to do with myself. Ryuu and I live together, and he doesn't want me around, so it's either I end up in the homeless shelter or I go back to my parents. And they're... well... let's say more traditional. I doubt telling them I came back because I'm in a lesbian affair would go over well."

Hitoka took a sip of her black coffee and grimaced. "Damn... Tanaka was always a hot head though, he probably didn't think it through. How this could impact you." she said in her voice, which retained its softness throughout the years.

Kiyoko turned, facing Hitoka as a smile crept up on her lips. They kissed briefly in the light of dawn with no one to disturb them.

"Oh, you're so understanding, I feel like I don't deserve it." she felt her face turn a little pink.

"I'm really glad I got to connect with you again, Kiyoko. You prepared me really well for dealing with all those rowdy high school boys, that's for sure."

Kiyoko laughed, taking Hitoka's hand in hers on the table.

Hitoka continued. "And about housing, you can always hang out at my apartment. In fact, you're not gonna believe this, but Hinata Shouyou is my roommate. Ain't that something?"

Kiyoko nearly choked on her scrambled eggs. "No way! That's insane. Your apartment must get noise complaints."

Hitoka smiled like a cat. "Not as much as you'd think! Honestly, he's out playing volleyball so much and always meeting with his boyfriend from Tokyo, Kozume, that I don't see him a lot. Sometimes he stays several nights there. He gets enough money to cover most of the rent and I pitch in what I can from my part-time cleaning job, so you won't have to worry about eviction or anything."

Kiyoko dropped her fork. Kozume Kenma?? The shy kid from Nekoma High School? This was a weird day and proved the world really was a small place.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little longer I think? The chapters will probably be longer from now on.

Kiyoko arrived downtown near Hitoka's campus on the subway with her, letting Hitoka navigate. It was a smaller, older building but well-kept, and soon they were in what would now be their shared room. 

It really wasn't much to look at, but she did notice Hitoka's quilted white bedding and the lovely blue curtains that obscured most of the window facing outside.

Kiyoko flopped down on their couch, flipping the television channels almost immediately.

"Wow," Hitoka said, "feeling at home already?"

Kiyoko nodded and grinned. She was watching the shopping channel, where a middle-aged lady with soft features advertised mail-order makeup or something like that.

This was going to be nice. Even though it was nine a.m., Kiyoko had resolved to relax and have a lazy day.

Time went by quickly, with Hitoka having to attend a couple morning classes and after, fussing over her like she was her mother, making her a total of four bowls of instant ramen. Meanwhile, Kiyoko binged guilty pleasure reality TV and took a couple naps.

By five in the afternoon, Shouyou had come home, his face bright and full of joy. Clearly, he had stayed the ray of light Kiyoko remembered him as.

He stopped in his tracks as he saw her and Hitoka, however.

"Oh my GOD! K-Kiyoko?!" he asked, stunned. 

Hitoka gave a basic run-down of Kiyoko's situation and why she was there, Shouyou nodding up and down rapidly.

He said, unphased, "Looking forward to having you here! I'm not here a whole lot compared to Hitoka, but it's very relaxed. I'm sure you'll like it."

Kiyoko responded, "I'm sure I will. By the way, do you go to school too or are you a full-time volleyball player?"

"Full time! You know how I wasn't the best in school... I was really riding on volleyball to get me somewhere and I would've been fucked if it didn't."

~

She adjusted to life with Hitoka and Shouyou very quickly. Being a housewife, she didn't have a job but found work as a waitress, in a diner much like the one where she met Hitoka that one morning.

Kiyoko learned about her surroundings as well. Or rather, re-learning them. She dropped out of college to live with Tanaka four years ago, and had forgotten how hectic and alive the streets downtown were.

Tanaka.

Suddenly, he clouded her mind.

_Oh my god.  
I haven't talked to Ryuu in weeks! What the hell, Kiyoko._

She dialed the number of the house that once seemed like her sanctuary forever. Or her prison, depending on how you looked at it.

Tanaka picked up, gently saying, "Hey, Kiyoko. Are you alright?"

Kiyoko bristled and yet was comforted by Ryuu's concern for her. For how hurt he must have been, his kindness was reassuring.

"Yes, Ryuu, I'm alright. I hope you're doing well too." Kiyoko smiled, though even she could tell she was forcing it a little.

"I've been managing. They do miss ya at the store, but overall I'm glad you told me that it wasn't working out for you." Ryuu winced a little. He genuinely did feel that way, but it still hurt like a dull ache.

Kiyoko said, "We can always hang out again, get breakfast or something. Just because I don't love you in that way doesn't mean I was going to shut you out completely."

Tanaka jumped. "Of course not! I just needed a little bit of time to adjust to life as a single man. Well, it's a little more complicated than that. But I'm happy. And, by the way, Saeko said she's jealous of Yachi now."

Kiyoko laughed softly at that. Saeko had always been a force of personality, and if she tried hard enough she might scare Hitoka off. 

"And how much ass does Saeko get in a week?"

"I don't know! She's my sister, dude!"

Kiyoko laughed so hard she had to hold the phone with both her hands.

"So, we see each other in a couple weeks around noon?" Tanaka asked.

Kiyoko agreed, said goodbye, and hung up.

Shortly after, Hitoka came back in, wearily excited.

"Kiyoko. You're not going to believe this, but Shou wants us to see his boyfriend in Tokyo this weekend. Isn't he cute? I've only seen Kozume in person once. But you've got to come!" Hitoka squealed.

Kiyoko was caught off guard and her eyes perked up.

"Hm? Of course I'd love to see him! He was always so nice during matches– he'd help with the cleanup, toss the ball with Hinata and Kuroo during practice,"

"That's not what I mean! Ugh, I don't want to sound like a creeper but they're so perfect for each other. You have to see them in real life."

"Well, how's Kenma now?"

Hitoka's excitement was boiling over.   
"It's said that he's struck it rich. But he sure doesn't act like it. He's quieter than a mouse and very polite. Anyway, he gives Hinata some of his money– I think they'd call him a sugar baby? But it's more than that. They share a real bond and it's no wonder he goes the two hours on the train to Tokyo almost every week. And we get to go with him!"

Kiyoko wasn't sure how she felt about Kenma becoming ~~a class traitor~~ wealthy, but she was even more boggled at the fact he was Shouyou's _sugar daddy_ now? Was her life turning into an especially tropey yaoi manga?

She stuttered. "Are you sure this isn't a different Kozume Kenma?"

Yachi showed her a picture of the two on her phone, one of the boys indeed being Kenma, just with less blonde in his hair and glasses.

"God. You are right. I'm gonna pray I can get off work. Hell, enough people are there that they might not even notice if I went MIA." 

Sure enough, Kiyoko remembered that she only worked Monday to Friday. 

The following day went by like a blur, and after her shift she packed her bag and waited for Shouyou to get back from volleyball practice so they could walk to the train station.


	5. departure

They boarded the train at 8:30 at night, so it thankfully wasn't as busy though there were a few sleepy salarymen. 

Shouyou, never one to mince words for better or for worse, looked over at Hitoka and Kiyoko. "I might not have money, or kids, or the respect of my family, but at least I'm not dead inside like those guys."

"You do have money, it's just not yours." Kiyoko hit back.

Hitoka made a spectacle of reading her fashion magazine, involving herself by not getting involved.

They continued to argue, which ended when Shouyou got a text from Kenma. It must've been something really special because his eyes lit up and he went into another world. Before long, they were blinded by the bright lights of Tokyo. Sendai was barely a flicker of a candle compared to this, the hectic station alive and people flashing by.

Shouyou was so busy yapping on his phone with Kenma, Kiyoko had to remind him where they were. He might as well have been some rando with no connection to them at all.

"Shou. Shou. _Shouyou_." Hitoka tried getting his attention. "We need directions."

He told Kenma he had to go, and finally said, "Oh!! I think the subways are still running. Kenma's place isn't as bougie as you'd think. He lives in the suburbs, I'll remember the name when I see it."

"Of course they're still running, it's only ten at night. We can definitely catch one." said Kiyoko.

The three rushed over to the ticket stand and they each bought them with some of the little cash they had left. Shouyou made sure the route bypassed Kenma's neighbourhood, which he did end up remembering the name of, and they found the second-last train of the day.

Somehow, Shouyou wasn't wiped out like Hitoka and Kiyoko were, it was probably because of how good the volleyball practice did him. That and how naturally energetic he was.

The night train was near silent, with the sterile, soft ambience contrasting the station which flowed rapidly like blood, still hot with people despite how late it was. Shou stretched out, lying down across four seats at the back. Hitoka sat in her usual form with her legs crossed, and Kiyoko was slouched, playing games on her phone.

Eventually, the cold yet lilting voice on the system called out the name of the stop and Shou got up, signaling that Kenma lived somewhere near here.

Since he went to Tokyo so often, he knew where his place was from memory. Narrow streets, full of closed street food stands and shops, and among that, when the streets started to widen, some flats as well. Kenma's place was somewhere in them, and Shouyou pointed them inside a larger concrete building and pushed the button of the elevator to the fifth floor. 

The building really wasn't anything special, the first floor smelling mildly of cigarettes and the carpets a faded green.

"Hm." Kiyoko said. "Are you sure this guy's really that rich?"

"He says that he's being fiscally responsible or something like that. Hell if I know what he's talking about, without him I'd barely be covering rent even with Hitoka's job on top of it." Shou answered.

Hitoka held on to Kiyoko, leaning into her chest, excited to tell Kenma about her. She smiled softly as the elevator dinged and they had to get off. Shou led them down a warmly lit hallway, going all the way to the end. He knocked on the door and waited patiently.

A steady, gentle hand opened the door.

"Shou!" Kenma's voice rose. He took him into a loving embrace, leaving Hitoka and Kiyoko to go inside.

Shouyou, looking dazed like his middle school crush kissed him out of nowhere, seemingly fainted on the couch and blinked twice.

"I apologise for that." Kenma said, barely above a whisper. "You're Hitoka," he said, pointing to the equally shy blonde, "and you're Kiyoko." pointing to the icy woman with her ink black hair tied back.

"Shit, don't you remember me from volleyball? Karasuno. Sexy manager." Kiyoko extended a hand to Kenma.

The slightest smile crept up on his face, giving his hand to hers. It seemed he did remember Kiyoko and Hitoka.

They walked into Kenma's small living room with him, Shou of course already perched. 

"Would you like tea?" he asked, always polite and never letting his guard down. Did he even do so around Shouyou?

"Sure! Do you have orange pekoe?" asked Kiyoko.

Hitoka clasped onto her arm, eyes shining and lips pouting.

"Also, Hitoka wants green tea."

Shouyou was eating hot cheetos, shockingly quiet for once. Kenma glanced at him once and turned to the kitchen to boil the water.

When he returned, he beckoned Shou onto his lap, his legs snaking over Kenma's hips.

It seemed, there wasn't an introduction needed. Kenma, Kiyoko, Shouyou, and Hitoka all melded together. A silent understanding of one another.

However, they talked into the night. Shou started to tell the others about what was going on in volleyball.

"Yeah, the Adlers are fucking insane! Kageyama, Ushiwaka, and Hoshiumi especially. I miss Tobio… I think he's doing alright though! He'd be doing even better if he were still dating me though." 

"You _dated?!_ " Kiyoko spat out her third cup of tea, incredulous.

"Babe, it was, like, everywhere. You couldn't avoid it for a minute in second and half of third year. Since they were both guys, they got both Valentine's Day _and_ White Day. You dodged a bullet there." said Hitoka.

Kenma nodded. "It really was everywhere. Shou wouldn't stop texting me about it and they kissed at the last game they had. I ditched my classes to see that one. And I was jealous, I won't lie."

Shou giggled, kissing Kenma on the cheek. "Now you're mine." 

He blushed, unused to this kind of affection in front of others. 

"I never thought I'd see you here, Kiyoko." Kenma said. "How'd you find us? I hadn't a clue what happened to you."

 _Long story,_ Kiyoko thought.  
"Well, don't laugh, but I married Tanaka Ryuunosuke."

Shou laughed very loudly despite already knowing, Kenma staying quiet.

"And for a while, I kind of knew I was a lesbian. I found Hitoka on a dating app, told Tanaka, and I kinda… moved to her place. This all took a month."

"Okay, first of all, I assumed you were a lesbian from the get go. And how the hell did you convince Tanaka you were actually into him?" Kenma pointed out.

"Straight boys interpret any form of attention paid to them that's not being told to fuck off as attraction. It wasn't that hard."

Her voice softened. "He's really not a bad guy. I think, overall, I lucked out because, for one, he didn't totally lose it when I told him I was dating a woman. But it… being married to him wasn't the kind of life I wanted to lead and I had to do something for myself."

The expectations that dictated Kiyoko were truly no longer relevant or in order. Life had a mysterious habit of throwing a wrench in your gears, and it was up to her to either make the wrench work with everything else or reject it entirely. However, a problem ignored only makes it rage on until your attention is caught, or if it kills you.


	6. labyrinth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is really dialogue heavy, but there's more development as opposed to just setting. the future chapters will probably be more like this

Kozume Kenma was certainly an... odd human being.

Not that that was anything new, his unrelenting shyness from high school not having faded in the least. How in the hell did this guy work up the courage to go outside? 

Kiyoko didn't have a problem with his shyness or anything. She was more understanding than that. It was more his habits. He woke up at ungodly hours! 5AM! He _traded stocks!!!_ Meanwhile, she barely knew how to file taxes. 

"Shou, how do you put up with this lunatic?" she inquired while Kenma was out on his morning run.

"You don't think he asks the same question to himself?"

"If I were into him– which I am _not_ ," Hitoka began, "I would be down for eating the rich."

"Well, I'm for eating them regardless." Kiyoko's voice cut. 

"Whatever! The point is, rich people are weird. It's weird that they decorate their house like they're fucking Vector from Despicable Me and that they make their dogs wear ugly Christmas sweaters. And Kenma is no exception." said Shouyou.

"Kenma makes his dog wear ugly Christmas sweaters?!" asked Hitoka.

"Kenma doesn't _have_ a dog. The building doesn't allow pets unless they're service animals." 

At convenient comedic timing, Kenma came back in. "What's all this?" he asked, like he had stumbled upon the three peasants smoking crack and eating leftover mashed potatoes as opposed to just sitting down eating ice cream Shou found in Kenma's freezer for breakfast.

In practice, it was not that different. 

~

Kenma and Shou were lovely to have around, but Hitoka and Kiyoko quickly learned _why_ Shou usually came to Tokyo by himself. They were passionate, like two roses that grew next to each other, tangled in the vines. 

It was evening, and the men were out, Kenma probably doing rich people things and Shou restlessly intrigued by him. Downtown Tokyo was glittery and hypnotic, Shou utterly seduced by this scene and the hedonism his boyfriend's finances provided. Kenma wasn't a hedonist himself, managing to stay frugal on everything except gaming equipment (he had _two_ glowing keyboards!!!). Shou, however, loved to tease Kenma into buying more things for him.

"If you let me get ice cream, I'll kiss you."

This usually got Kenma to laugh a little, holding him closer at the waist as they stood in the lobby of the Tokyo stock exchange, Shou absolutely underdressed (those were almost ASS SHORTS!) and Kenma surprisingly not wearing sweatpants. 

They got a little further down the street.

"I wanna see the clothing stores, I heard some of them just came out with new collections. If you get them for me, I'll let you do anything you want to me tonight."

Kenma sighed. "Not here, Shouyou." He dragged him by the hand, Shou giddy with delight at his own provocation.

He lit up again as Kenma walked him into an ice cream place.

~

Meanwhile, Kiyoko and Hitoka entered a cat cafe near Kenma's flat and sat down on some ratty, well-worn seats. They were greeted by a devilishly handsome boy with spiky black hair and cat ears.

"Hello, I'm Tetsurou. I'll be serving you tonight." he smiled, all soft and sweet.

 _thiscannotberealthiscannotberealHOLYSHIT,_ Kiyoko thought.

Had they entered a host club by mistake? No, Kuroo still looked relatively normal. He didn't look like a horny yakuza member.

Hitoka, sticking to her routine, ordered a green tea to start off, and Kiyoko ordered an iced black coffee.

When he came back with the drinks, Hitoka asked him, "Kuroo?!"

"Hold on… Kiyoko? Hitoka? Nice to see you again! Didn't expect to see you around here."

"Yeah, we're sort of girlfriends now?" Kiyoko looked to Hitoka for affirmation, and she nodded.  
"The whole straight lifestyle with Tanaka wasn't working out for me. And since Kenma and Hinata are dating, they brought us back down here."

"Yeah, I heard those two were a thing." Tetsurou's voice was ever so slightly laced with hurt.

"They're doing gay stuff right now. We were left to our own devices, so we just walked around and found this place." Kiyoko explained.

"How's Kenma doing? I know he's rich now, and he does some gaming thing on YouTube or Twitch or whatever,"

"For one, he's Hinata's sugar daddy. And despite how comfortable they are in one another, they like to be left alone. Part of me wonders why the hell we're even here, but I can appreciate them wanting time to themselves." 

"I kind of thought that maybe he was helping _someone_ financially. It would make sense that it's Shou, since they're real close now. Kenma didn't strike me as someone who'd hoard wealth in any great capacity." Tetsurou sighed.

Kuroo was a bit different from his high school years. His sardonic sweetness had remained, but not without indignation and defeat guiding it. He definitely got high a little too much, and was too reckless when it came to sleeping with people. 

"Tetsu, you sound sad." Hitoka observed.

"Really? I wouldn't say that. Life just has its ways of sneaking up on you and fucking everything up. I'm not a wreck, but I could be better, I'll say that at least."

"Kuroo. Are you sure nothing happened between you and Kenma?" Kiyoko asked in earnest.

He sighed again, and explained that when Kenma started to get all the money he did from gaming and eventually getting into the business stuff, he became more distant. Meanwhile, Tetsurou had student loans and an ex who grew increasingly obsessive like a venomous snake who wants nothing more than the blood in your neck, piercing an open wound over and over.

A single tear fell down Kuroo's face, as his voice barely raised above a whisper.

"I… I loved Kenma. It wasn't his fault, maybe it was. But I got more and more isolated from him at one of the worst parts– no, _the worst_ part of my life. He was the one who always had my back. And he had my heart too, but I could never tell him that."

Hitoka's hand reached out to him, trying to comfort this guy she had not seen in several years and was now incredibly vulnerable in front of her.

Kiyoko, always rational and cool-headed, said, "Hey, I'd be feeling sad if my friend suddenly got super-rich too. The way a lot of people's outlooks change when they suddenly have money is interesting."

Tetsurou, who was now cradling a black cat he'd picked up with an uncanny resemblance to him in his arms, went "mhm" in response to Kiyoko.

"I absolutely agree. I wish I had blind faith in capitalism to bring me money, but all I have is this job and occasionally giving people stick and poke tattoos." 

He straightened himself up, more relaxed. "Anyway, I want to hear more about you both. Enough about me, I want to hear about the legendary Karasuno lesbians!" 

Kiyoko and Hitoka both snorted through chuckles.

"I picked up this poor, lonely lady and gave her the best head she'd ever had, then she fell in love with me forever and we lived happily ever after." Hitoka fake mused, pointing to Kiyoko.

"Hitoka! Shit, girl, I didn't think you'd ever say something like that!" Kiyoko was belly laughing now.

Kiyoko calmed down, and said, "No, but, for real, I always felt like I skipped being a teenager to please people. It was like half the boys I knew wanted to wife me the second it was legal to. And I ended up becoming Tanaka's girlfriend, then wife. Now, by straight people standards, Ryuunosuke was a great husband."

She went on to explain how something was fishy the second she felt her parents' admiration at the wedding. 

It wasn't so much, "Kiyoko, congrats on your marriage! We're so proud to see you grow up!". It was more, "You're going to be a wife and mother, so young as well! It's good that you've preserved our morals" laced with a little "Thank God you're not a sexual deviant like your brother was".

Hitoka already knew about this for the most part, but even her eyes widened a bit.

"Are your parents from the fucking fifties?!" Kuroo was shocked. 

"My mom found out she was a lesbian, like, two years ago. She had me with some random guy who I don't know anything about. I guess I got lucky, but I can't imagine having parents who really think that way." Hitoka confessed.

"I mean, I don't think my dad really understands it, but he's never treated me as lesser because I'm bi. I hope my mom would've been kind too. I don't remember her all that well, but she was lovely." Tetsurou added, with silent sympathy painting the other two's faces.

"I always felt like, well, whatever the opposite of Kiyoko was. I was too much of a child." said Hitoka. "I was such a crybaby, and for what? Turns out I just had major anxiety and abandonment issues. I didn't get that even close to untangled until I was seventeen, and even though being on the volleyball team was helpful and I fit in, there were deeper problems at work."

"I'm not gonna lie, it was funny when you thought Asahi was some kind of unruly delinquent, when really he was almost as fragile and gay as you were." Kiyoko pointed out.

"I'll let you have that one, babe. It was kind of funny."

"Asahi? When we played games against Karasuno, I could hardly look at him on the court. He was _so_ hot. Unfortunately, I just wanted him to kick my ass, and he was a nervous wreck." Tetsurou huffed melodramatically.

"And, Hitoka, I hope you did get helped out with everything. Being isolated is the worst thing, and I'm glad you at least had a support network. When Kenma changed, I lost that." he added.

"Oh, yes. I'm much better. I'm still shy and quiet, but that's fine. I'm lucky to have found a good therapist, and sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on. Especially when that shoulder has a degree in human psychology."

They continued their lively conversation and played with the cats through the night, Tetsurou sometimes having to leave just to go feed them, but he came back to throw them toys and pet the cats.

"This one is named Mittens," he pointed to a skinny grey cat with piercing blue eyes,

"Muffins," a chubby white Persian cat who was napping,

"Pika," an active tabby cat who kept jumping up to Hitoka for pets,

"Lilo," the black cat who was in his arms before,

"and Ruby." a kitten with little brown spots on her.

It was clear Tetsurou genuinely loved these cats despite not owning the place. He was probably more of their cat dad than the manager was. 

Hitoka and Kiyoko both stayed until closing time at 1 in the morning (seemed all too common for them) and pledged to meet with Tetsu again. He waved goodbye, and on the way back home they kissed each other passionately, like their lips were divinely meant to interlock.

It would be a little while until Kenma and Shouyou came back, so they both went to sleep early so they didn't have to put up with the two loudly making out and perhaps more than that. 

Unfortunately for them, Hitoka was a light sleeper.


End file.
